For most people, this question doesn’t generate any anxiety, concern, confusion or related emotions. However, for our family right now, it is an especially hard question. With all the transitions we have faced and continue to face on the mission field, here on home assignment right now and as we plan and prepare for our return to Mexico, it becomes increasingly more difficult. Our seven year old, Micah, summed it up really well a few weeks ago when he cheerfully and matter of factly said, “We don’t live anywhere, we live everywhere!”
In all honesty, at the time, I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh because it is comical in a sense all of the places we’ve been. Cry because I know he is lacking something I had growing up-the sense of security and permanence that living in one house for most of your growing up years can provide. It also reminded me of the Bible’s teaching about the reality that this world is NOT our home. But, oh, at times, it is still hard to not long for that sense of security and permanence that a fixed address seems to provide.
Recent events in our lives have had me pondering these issues once again…where do you live? At this point in our lives and ministry, there seem to be more questions than answers regarding our future. I confess that I am what I like to call a “recovering control freak” as step by shaky step, I am learning to yield control over to the Lord-it was really always His anyways, right?! So, you can imagine that unknowns tend to stress me out. Well, I have just been through several experiences that have filled me with such peace that I KNOW could ONLY come from Him. This recovering control freak could never have mustered this sense of deep, abiding peace on her own-that is for sure!
You see, as our world, some of our dreams were shaken the other day and we felt blind sided-He showed up in such a powerful and undeniable way for me. This experience with my Savior has been such a growing, testing one and at times painful but oh so worth it for the glimpses of Him and His enfolding embrace I felt and continue to feel.
As I sat contemplating where we will live, He brought me to a quote that I felt He placed for me to find at just the right moment to bear fruit in my life. For you see, the idea was not all that new or profound but it was for me at that moment. The quote is, “Make God your permanent residence. Everything else is just temporary.” I don’t even know who said it first but oh the profound truth for me in that moment. That longing for security and permanence-fulfilled when I chose to make Him my PERMANENT residence. My tears over what felt like a lost dream turned to peace and joy knowing that the dream lost wasn’t lost at all-for HE is my one hope and my dream-everything else truly is temporary.
Then we went to church in the morning and every song was like a resounding confirmation to TRUST completely in Him and to LIVE in Him. God knew I needed that extra reminder of what He’d shown me the night before. Those songs had been planned days, perhaps weeks, before but He knew exactly what I needed that morning.
Blessed Be Your Name reminded me that even though He gives and takes away, I still need to choose to praise Him and it reminded me of what a pastor once spoke about that song-how if we cling too tightly to something, then our hands cannot be open to receive what God wants to give us in its place. So, while that dream had looked so good, I am now expectant and excited for the new one He will give.
Another song spoke of how sweet it is to trust in Jesus and I think, in that moment, I finally understood completely what those lyrics meant even though I’d been singing that hymn practically since I learned to speak.
Finally, another old hymn held such power and meaning as never before-I Surrender All. O Father, I do surrender it all-our future, my control freak ways… EVERYTHING! Towards the end of the song, it actually says, “In His presence daily live.” I can’t say that the line ever held such meaning to me before.
So, back to the original question, where do you live?
